Letters Never Sent
by daysandweeks
Summary: Ron begins writing letters he doesn't intend to give Hermione, and eventually begins to bare his soul to her. Written preDH
1. June

'_Mione—  
The war is starting, and I'm damn nervous, I must admit. It's late, and we all just got back from school. Ginny's in her room, sleeping or crying…I'm not sure. I can't wait until the wedding, and I'm saying I can't wait because it will be a wonderful event—the marriage of my brother. But really I know I want to see you.  
I guess I'll be seeing you early then. You'll come over here, and I guess we'll go to France, then, if your parents approve. The funny thing is…I don't think I really know your parents. Have I ever seen them? I don't quite remember.  
I just read over this and realized that I can't give this to you. Looks like it's time to rewrite! But I'll save this, anyway. You never know. I might want you to read this one day…  
Ron_

'_Mione  
Well, you just wrote me a letter. I feel stupid, because yes, I've already written you back yet here I am writing you another letter…one you'll never even see! But just in case I go to read this, years from now, and wonder what the bloody hell I'm talking about, you've just invited me to your house next week. I'm not quite sure why. Part of me wants it to be that I'm "meeting your parents", but I won't grace myself with that honor.  
Harry is at his aunt and uncle's still. Part of me is saying, "It would be quite nice to go and save him!" But the other part is elated that you've invited me over.  
I just realized I can't dance.  
Ron_

_Hermione,  
Sweet Merlin, I'm over your house now. And I'm in your guest bedroom! Your parents are nice folks, really, although I don't think your dad likes me much. Maybe I'll actually give you this letter…but wait, never mind.  
Anyway, we just came upstairs after dinner. And I'm going to hang out in your room and talk with you, about when we should pick up Harry, and stuff, but Ginny's here too, and really I was thinking me-and-Hermione-in-her-room-alone…but Ginny tagged along, so never mind that! I wish that you had one more guest bedroom so maybe we could have some time alone.  
Right, well, I have some business to take care of, and then I'll go visit you. I really don't know why I write these…  
Maybe I do for therapy…  
Ron_

_Hermione…  
We decided we'd finish the week out at your house and then get Harry. That's where we just were. Your folks were sweet and your dad seemed really interested in the magical world. I didn't quite like that they thought I might have to get braces, though! Nope, that's not for me. I'll try a teeth straightening spell, but Mum did that to me when I was little, only the one tooth is crooked, and I think it looks rather dashing.  
Well, we're at my home now. Harry's in the room…thinks I'm writing a school paper. Like I'm honestly thinking about that? I know it's hard to think about, but…we might not even go back to school! What's the point?  
June is coming to a close. Next month will bring a trip to France among other things. Your good bye to your family was quite sad, and I don't want to think about what will happen when I leave mine.  
I'm not ready for this war.  
Ron_


	2. July

_Hermione,  
Harry just got done telling me we don't have to go with him.  
Yeah right, like we'd jip out on him? Whatever, Harry.  
You wouldn't, right?  
Ron_

_Hermione,  
We're leaving for France in a week!  
And today we talked about leaving Harry. We nearly had a row, except not. I think we're too bent on enjoying these last few days of normalcy to have a row, except it makes things even less normal. We're barely looking at each other, and it hurts me.  
I mean, I know why we're avoiding each other, I'm not stupid. Reason number one is because neither of us wants to get into a fight, and just one odd look could send the other yelling at this moment, we're so tense. Reason number two is because I'd really like to snog your face off, and maybe you feel the same way and you're too scared to look because kissing would make Harry's life even more awkward, or maybe you're a mind reader and you're too grossed out to look at me.  
Oh, I have to take a piss and Ginny finally got done taking her shower (like she really needs to take twenty minutes) so good bye.  
Ron_

_Hermione,  
We've been talking less and less during the day, but at night sometimes, we have these deep conversations, and it's really strange. Like tonight—everyone had gone to bed and I went downstairs for a glass of water. And there you were, already, like you knew that I was coming. Since we have to wake up early to use a Portkey to get to France tomorrow (later today?), it was only eleven and everyone was in bed. We stayed up talking until three, and that's where I've just gotten back from.  
And it was really strange. We talked about stupid things compared to what's going on now—like our dreams and aspirations for when we grow older. Surprisingly, we, who are so full of hopes and wishes right now have none for when we grow up, or no exact ones at least.  
Sometimes I think I have an idea of how I'd like my future to be…but it's always changing.  
I wish I knew how to speak French.  
Ron_

_Hermione,  
France is nice, I guess. The wedding's in two days. I can barely stand Fleur—she's so cheery, and I guess Bill for that matter, too.  
The Delacour's home is rather large, but we still have to share rooms, since such a multitude of people are coming.  
Except, the thing is, Harry and Ginny started snogging again, so you ditched the room you were sharing with Ginny for here, because it was too cramped, and it seems Harry's planning to hang out there instead of in his room for the time being.  
Ahh, weddings. Well, at least it's keeping our mind off of you-know-what for now.  
You're coming back from the bathroom, with that funny toilet that squirts you…to clean you out. So I need to hide this.  
I suppose sharing a room will be interesting, roommate.  
Ron_

_Hermione!  
So Bill comes up to me this afternoon and goes, "You should ask Hermione to the wedding."  
And I, being idiot me, said, "She's already going to the wedding, Bill."  
Anyway, whatever, he was trying to give me romantic advice it turned out, and since he's the one getting married, I decided, hey, I'll trust him. He said that that wasn't the point, that you would think it was cute and what not, and blah blah blah.  
Oh, yeah, Bill is like the only one who knows I like you. Well, Ginny does, because it's pretty obvious, and Fred and George have teased me about it sometimes, but they got off my back when I denied it for the hundredth thousandth time. I got used to denying it without my face turning red, see, so they believed me. And I think Harry knows, but maybe not, since he's so wrapped up in everything else, and Lavender might, because she didn't want me to talk to you when we were going out, and I think Neville Longbottom said something to me about me liking you once, or maybe it was the other way around, and Luna Lovegood wrote me a note once and I swear that it had my initials entwined with yours in it, but that's only a handful of people, now isn't it?  
So, I took Bill's advice tonight, after dinner. Not even all of the guests are here yet and the Delacours insist on serving like, meals with courses. So after dinner, or the desert course, or whatever I sort of wandered outside, and tried to give you this look that said, "Hermione, get your arse outside!" but I don't think it quite worked. Ginny came and we chatted for a bit. Then you came and then Ginny had to get a shower and we started talking.  
And I said, "So, what's up?"  
And you said, "Nothing. I'm full. You?"  
And I said, "Yeah, the same."  
And then we sort of just sat on the patio in silence, and you hummed a little and I tied and untied and retied my left shoe three times.  
And then I said, "So, would you like to go to the wedding with me?"  
And you said the same exact thing that I said to Bill, pretty much. You said, "Ron, I'm already going to the wedding."  
I was pretty embarrassed. I said, "Yeah, I know. But do you want to go with me?"  
It was really awkward and we just kind of sat there. After a few seconds or minutes or hours or days or weeks or months or years, you said, "Oh that would be lovely!" And it sort of felt like one of those Muggle movies that you made me watch when I was over your house, one of those movies where the guy finally asks the girl out, and next thing you know they're snogging, except we didn't even hug or anything. We just kind of sat there and smiled.  
And then the sun set, and you said, "It's beautiful."  
And I thought about those Muggle movies again, because we watched one where that same thing happened and the guy said, "Yes, you are," which I thought was really cheesy, so I didn't say it.  
Then Harry came out and we talked about random things and then we all went to bed about four hours later, and Harry is back in this room now and you're back with Ginny so…well I had high hopes for tonight but never mind that.  
The wedding is tomorrow. See you then.  
Ron_

_Dear Hermione,  
I just woke up. Everyone was up so late last night. Bill and Fleur are off at their honeymoon and we're leaving here tomorrow morning…we were supposed to today but Mum wanted to chat a bit and George is here with that Muggle girl from the village that he had a liking to (she accidentally walked into their shop one day when they were performing some experiment and they had to explain, so she knows all about magic, and I don't know whether that's good or bad) and everything's still loud and busy like the wedding hasn't even happened yet.  
Actually, it wasn't that great, you probably liked it better than I did. I had to do all that wedding stuff and didn't even see you until the reception bit. You looked dazzling, by the way. I think I told you that you looked nice, but nice was an understatement.  
So, anyway, I ate a lot of food, and I think you did, too, and I think everyone was a bit tipsy, but whatever. And I thought back to the Yule Ball in fourth year and how I barely danced with my date, so I asked you to dance but only for the slower songs, because my feet are big and I have no rhythm. It turns out you don't really either, but oh well.  
I had high hopes once more. We didn't kiss or anything that much. We just danced, except when we went to go to bed. No one was looking and we were alone in the corridor and you got up on your tiptoes and kissed me on the cheek, which made me confused, because it was like…alright, is this friendship or more than that?  
So, I got a bit carried away, and I sort of moved your head and it was really awkward because of how we were standing but we kissed, and it was just a gentle, short kiss, and it wouldn't have counted with any other girl, but it was with you, so it did.  
And then you said good night in this sexy voice and I was like, "Wooah, Hermione's sexy? Okay, so I have a liking to her but, wow, this is getting interesting." But of course I didn't say that out loud, I just thought it.  
Well, time for breakfast. Bye.  
Ron_

_Hermione,  
Sorry I haven't written since last week, but we've decided to leave the day after Harry's birthday, which is tomorrow. On his birthday we're going to quick take our Apparating tests (Harry and I, that is), and then depart for Godric's Hollow.  
Harry doesn't want Ginny to come and neither do I. She's not speaking to us.  
Harry doesn't even want you and me to come to Godric's Hollow but we made a compromise and if he wants alone time, we'll give him it.  
I'm tired, good night.  
Ron_

_Hermione,  
We're all packed up and ready to go! I woke up so early…and I just got back from talking to you, because you were nervous and also got up early, and we went downstairs (we're at 12 Grimmauld Place now, forgot to mention that last time) and we drank some water and you made some pancakes and we just talked and you cried a bit and we hugged and then we went outside real quick…and did nothing but sit there, and you kissed me really quick on the lips once, and then you said, "Let's go back inside, they're probably all up now."  
And I'm going to go say good bye to Mum, Dad, and Ginny now, so good bye. Wish me luck.  
Ron_


	3. August

_**A/N:** _At the one point, the word you is written as --y-o-u--...strike-through doesn't work on this site, so just _pretend_ it's crossed out.

_Dear Hermione,  
Harry wouldn't allow anyone else to come with us, although they all protested. Lupin claimed that he knew the area of Godric's Hollow very well, but you know Harry—he practically blew up when Lupin mentioned showing us around. "I have to do this by myself!" he yelled. "I'm barely willing to let Hermione and Ron come with me!"  
I was aggravated, of course, and you cried a bit. Ginny wasn't talking to any of us; she was ready to kill someone. Tonks was really concerned, Mum was crying, and Dad looked really solemn. And Harry stormed out, bags in tow, and we had to follow him, because we're his best friends.  
We're in Godric's Hollow now. Harry has had no luck finding his parents' house. Everyone he asks gives him this odd look, like, "Why would you want to go there?" And everyone who realizes that he's Harry Potter just sighs and shakes their heads. I think Harry wishes he had accepted Lupin's offer now.  
We're staying in an inn, and we are all sharing a room because Harry doesn't want us to waste money. Harry gets the pull out couch in the living room, and sometimes I sleep there, too, but he tosses and turns like crazy anymore, and his scar is bothering him, so usually I rest in the arm chair, and don't get much sleep. You have the tiny bedroom to yourself, and sometimes I hear you crying, and peek my head in, but you're really asleep. Except for last night…last night you were still awake, and you admitted that you had only pretended to be asleep when I entered, and that you were having nightmares, about all sorts of things, except you had trouble remembering them or explaining them. You told me to get back to sleep, but I explained my predicament, and I thought that we had spent the whole night talking, but I woke up in the tiny little bed, and you were there, and we had just fallen asleep like that.  
I got up, left you there, quickly kissed you on the forehead… watched you sleeping. You had a goofy little smile on your face. I guess you didn't have any more nightmares.  
Ron_

_Hermione—  
Today we went out to get some food with Harry and ran into Lupin on the way. Harry blew up. "Why did you follow us here? We're doing perfectly well on our own!"  
Lupin snorted. "I didn't follow you here! I actually have a life, you know."  
So, next thing we knew, we were in this small little shack, where the good professor actually lives, sipping tea and getting directions to the Potters' house.  
I suppose it makes sense—Lupin was friends with Harry's parents, so perhaps they lived close to each other. He rushed us out at eleven, though. "Go get your food and visit the house, okay?"  
I was really enjoying these muffins he had (he said someone gave them to him), so I whined, "Why?" You sort of wanted to stay, also, I think, because Harry was all moody about us coming with him. He had to see the house alone, which I guess I understand…sort of.  
But Lupin wouldn't have any of it. "Just get going. I'm going to have company soon."  
So we left. We trudged down the street (it's very eerie and rainy here, I've begun to notice) and kicked up mud and dust, and we found the house, all in shambles, and Harry went in alone, and we talked.  
"Who do you think is going over Lupin's?" you asked. I just shrugged. "I think it's Tonks." But I don't know.  
And we waited for hours and hours, it felt like, and Harry came out, and he looked sad…but no longer burdened. That mature, secure, depressed façade was gone, and it was just Harry, a teenage boy.  
"Let's go. We have Horcruxes to find."  
And off we went. We Apparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place, and Harry told everyone he was sorry for blowing up. We made awkward promises to everyone—that we'd be back when we could be, etc., etc. Mum says that we have to visit at least on the holidays, because she's still making us sweaters.  
I just realized how much I love my family.  
I just realized how much I love --y-o-u-- life.  
Ron_

_Hermione…  
I'm going crazy, I swear. Harry's insane, too; you're the only one with a bloody head on your shoulders. He gets one little hunch from Moody of some idea of where that stupid locket might be, and—boom, we don't even get to visit home for a day and we're here. Yes, we're traveling once more, and I have no clue where the bloody hell we are. You keep saying we're in Scotland but I've been to Scotland before and it wasn't like this.  
Anyway, we're sleeping in caves, BLOODY CAVES! Last night was our first night in one. Harry was huddled all in a corner, and I woke up snuggling up against you, and we all smelled really bad, and my back hurt, and I was freaked out about spiders the whole time. But Harry's all like, "Oh, yes, well, Moody said it was in a cave."  
Yeah, well, it wasn't in this one. Just mouse droppings, some bats, and a spider or two that Harry killed. Harry's going crazy, and I'm already sick of this.  
We are taking a rest stop—it is noon according to my watch. We're eating something…I'm not quite sure what. You found it.  
Well, Harry wants us to keep going and get this over with, so I must go. Bye.  
Ron_

_Hermione Hermione Hermione Hermione Hermione…  
BLOODY HELL!  
So, Harry wanders out of the cave last night, you wake up and approach me, and go, "So what is that thing you're always writing?"  
And what am I supposed to say? A journal? A diary? I would've looked like a poof. So I said, "Letters."  
And you smiled, sat down next to me, made me sit up, and said, "To whom?"  
And I said, "Sort of to myself, sort of not." Then I think I turned red, but it was dark, so you wouldn't know.  
You asked me, "May I see them?"  
So I said, "No."  
And you pouted and said, "Fine."  
But then I figured you could probably read one of them, maybe the first one, because it barely hinted that I had feelings for you, and the second one as well, and it didn't really matter, because we'd kissed a little. "Well, you can read some," I said.  
I showed you them, and you read them, and you started to cry. I thought that they were embarrassing, or maybe I had said something mean in them that I didn't realize, or maybe you thought that you had led me on. I was about to say sorry, when all of the sudden you embraced me, and I sort of fell over, and said ouch because a particular jagged rock was now poking me in the spine.  
"You're writing to me?"  
My spine was really hurting now, so I pushed you up a little, moved over a few centimeters, and accommodated the new position before I realized what I was doing. "Well, sort of." I let out a sigh and was about to speak more when you continued.  
"I don't want to read them all now," you giggled, "but maybe one day."  
And your face was right on top of me and I wanted to kiss you but you playfully kissed my nose, so I kissed your chin, and I was really nervous, and next thing I knew, we were snogging.  
After, I don't know how long, you said, "Ouch!" because I think you had rolled onto that rock or some other rock and we stopped and I said sorry but you said that it was your fault and next thing we knew we were busting up laughing.  
Then Harry came back from whatever he was doing (getting a breath of fresh air, taking a piss, masturbating, whatever) and asked what was so funny, but we just shook our heads and went back to sleep.  
So, um, it was a pretty good night.  
Ron_


	4. September

'_Mione!_

_Things were all fine and dandy as far as living in caves can go, but now there has been a particularly violent turn. It's already a few days before your birthday—I haven't written to you in weeks, simply because nothing has happened. I mean, sure, obvious things have. We've slept in a few more caves, caught a few colds, went home to get some blankets and the like because now it's getting colder, had Harry find out that we had suddenly started kissing every now and then (really, not that often, just once or twice a week, nothing more than the last time I wrote, but it's still rather enjoyable), and the rest. But last night when we quickly Apparated back to the Burrow because we had run out of food, all hell seemed to break loose.  
"Thank Merlin you're here!" Mum had nearly screamed. "Remus was just over, you need to get to Grimmauld Place! Now!"  
We were all rather surprised. Whenever we come home, Mum always make us sit down and eat and talk. We're not there too often, just once every few weeks, but, still. She misses us all terribly and wants to fatten us up or something. But this time, she didn't even stop to hug any of us or recommend that we take a nice hot shower.  
We used floo powder to get to Grimmauld Place, simply because our heads were still spinning from Apparating. When we got there, a huge group of members of the Order were there, all looking serious and down-to-business. Tonks was there and she looked different than I had ever seen her. Her hair was in a bright red bob, and her eyes had this excited, ready-to-fight glimmer to them. That's when Moody approached us.  
"We know the whereabouts of one of the Horcruxes," he said, plain out. "The locket, in fact. I was right, it is in a cave in Scotland, but it's a heavily guarded one, and it has a boulder in front of it."  
Harry nodded, already businesslike himself. "Alright, we have enough people to move it…"  
But Mad-Eye interrupted him. "It's enchanted. It only rolls aside on the first night of a full moon. Otherwise it's impossible to move it." He paused, and I noticed Lupin in the corner, looking rather depressed. "That means Lupin over there won't be coming with us, but there will probably be loads of Death Eaters there, some of them probably werewolves."  
I bit my lip when he said this, remembering Bill's problem with Greyback, but he was healed now, except for a few scars that couldn't be healed. He didn't care, anyway, claiming that women liked scars, much to the dismay of Fleur. Still, I wanted revenge.  
You gripped my hand, then, behind my back, and held it firmly, as Mad-Eye continued; saying that tomorrow was the first night of a full moon. So, we stayed there, Harry and me sharing a room and you in the one you'd normally share with Ginny.  
And now it is afternoon, and we're going to Apparate to this cave, because Moody's seen it before, and we're leaving in a few hours.  
So…we wait.  
Ron_

_Happy Bloody Birthday to you!  
Well, we've finally destroyed one of the Horcruxes, the locket, in fact, but it was a brutal fight, and only now I've woke up. It's the afternoon of your birthday, and you're still asleep, because you suffered a minor concussion that's going to have you knocked out for a few days. Everyone tried to heal you. I hope you wake up today.  
I don't know why I was out—I suppose that I was just tired. I have a gash on my left arm that's gone rather deep. Mum's worrying. Harry came away a bit battered himself. I'm not sure where he is. Perhaps he's talking to Ginny. She was rather upset when we came home.  
No one was terribly injured, but the same went for the Death Eaters. Well, they were injured, but none were killed or arrested. We didn't have time for that, and they were too powerful to kill, just to hurt.  
I hope you wake up soon. I worry about you. I miss you. I miss how you yell at me for procrastinating and I miss lots of things.  
Before the battle, we kissed, and it was your idea. You said we'd be so happy that our Patronuses would work very well, and just to think of that moment when we went to cast it. Well, I thought about more than kissing, but it was just so…us. I mean, kissing Lavender was different. It was like, what I thought was a perfect kiss. It wasn't too wet and she always knew what to do with her tongue and that deterred me at first because I didn't. But you just do whatever you want, and the way you kiss is amazing.  
So, I don't remember which spell knocked you out—I was off fighting someone else then, but you best get better, because I really care about you.  
Because I love you.  
Ron_

_Dear Hermione,  
FINALLY you're awake! It's actually only two days later. You have a cut on your eyebrow but you still look as lovely as ever, although you think you look stupid. You tried a healing spell on my arm and I tried one on your eyebrow but you're much better at healing spells. Mine's actually just a scar, now, but your cut is still scabbed up.  
Harry, naturally, is researching about the Horcruxes. This involves hours of sitting around 12 Grimmauld Place with the rest of the Order and reading countless amounts of books, which you adore. Meanwhile, I have played about 900 different types of card games with Ginny and have even used Fred and George's daydream product to escape the boredom. Mind you, the daydreams are terribly girly and I feel like a poof, but it makes me laugh when the effects are over.  
Everyone knows we have feelings for each other. Sometimes I wish we could just say, "Oh, yes, we're boyfriend and girlfriend!" but we can't, because this isn't a time for romance.  
Harry wants to set out and explore a little starting in a few days. He's a very kinesthetic person. That's a new word I learned today from you. See? We teach each other things everyday.  
Hmm…I just heard you go outback, I think I'm going to join you.  
Until next time,  
Ron_

_Dear Hermione,  
So we've come to our destination as September ends. My mum knows a family in Devon who owned a library in a rather large house of theirs that they've abandoned as of late (details are sketchy), and we've arrived here. The Order came, but left due to Harry's request, so it's me, you, and him, in this large country-side mansion, full of gnargles, quite sadly.  
The library has all sorts of books, and a section just about the Dark Arts. I can't help but wonder about the reputation of this family—were they supporters of You-Know-Who, do you think? None of us know, but we are glad to have information and a place to stay and rest. There is a well outback, and we found some seeds in a shed to plant a garden. Harry doesn't want us to make this place a home—after all, the family might return and be angry at us, but we've already only been here a day and it seems rather comfy.  
We all have our own bedrooms, and there's this forest outback. You've been in the library a lot—reading for research as well as pleasure. There's even a book on You-Know-Who, and we think that that might leave clues.  
I have a feeling that something important is going to happen here.  
Yours,  
Ron_


	5. October

_Hermione,  
I worry about you, how you read like a maniac.  
I worry about Harry, how he rarely laughs anymore.  
I worry about me, how I think about you more often than our mission.  
I worry about all of us…  
And I mean all of us as one. Mum told me before we left that we're all one, basically. We all are one person—bits and pieces of each other. And I believed her, but now I don't. You are the scholar, Harry is the hero, and I am the sidekick—the lover and the fighter. You and Harry aren't torn between those two things, so perhaps you two are extensions of one another, but I am my own person, no matter how loyal or loving I am. I haven't always been this way. When I was younger I wanted to be like everyone else, but now I look at you and Harry, and I think, you're wasting your teenage years! For what?  
Ron_

'_Mione, Hermione, Hermione…  
I just told you all that that I wrote last night, and we got in a terrible row, and I feel like a jerk reading over it and remembering our conversation. We are all parts of each other, slightly, and you and Harry aren't wasting your teenage years, and neither am I. We're going to save the world. There's time for fun and parties and experimenting when this is all over.  
But I do worry. What if we're dead when it's over? Are there any parties in heaven, or wherever we go?  
You haven't spoken to me since our fight this afternoon. You've locked yourself in the library. It's about midnight—I think you're asleep in there.  
I will come and say I'm sorry and give you a blanket if you don't wake up.  
Because we fight, and I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. But that is who I am—an idiot, and that is what you are—stubborn. But we'll get by, right?  
I think I love you sometimes, like right now.  
Yours,  
Ron_

_Dear Dear Dear Hermione,  
October's almost over and I'm just now writing to you. These past few weeks have been hell. I don't even remember that fight we got into, really…Merlin, this is insane.  
That last time we destroyed a Horcrux, it wasn't like this. There were a few Death Eaters—me, you, and Harry didn't kill any of them. The Order did, but they're adults, so it was different. But this time, when Moody owled us about the next Horcrux, things were different.  
Lupin decided that we needed to learn the curse…you know which one. So Tonks came out here one evening, because she's the closest to our age, and taught us. "This isn't my idea," she informed us, "but Mad-Eye says that there will most likely be a full-out battle this time, so it's vital that you know how to perform this curse." She was rather serious, and we used all sorts of bugs as practice, mostly spiders, to my displeasure.  
No one gets it on their first time, you know. I didn't. You even didn't. You came around after about six tries, and started balling once it happened. I finally succeeded after about twenty tries, and I was pretty upset, too. It was just a spider—people kill spiders all the time—but the fact that this curse could be used to kill people was just terrifying.  
Harry wasn't like us. Harry was hesitant, yes. But he got this serious look on his face and—BOOM, the thing was dead, right away.  
And the flash of green light is awful, especially when you're causing it.  
The battle was three days later. It was hell. I don't remember what happened; who killed who…I was just terrified. The Horcrux was destroyed. Next thing I knew I was at the Burrow, home, looking at my childhood bedroom, and thinking, "This isn't me…"  
No one talked much. You and I had never made up for our fight, but knew the other was sorry, but we still didn't grace each other with words.  
We returned to the mansion just yesterday, and still there was no talking. I took a shower, came out, and looked at myself in the mirror. There was nothing different. I feel so grown up, so changed—because I killed a man, scratch that, men, maybe even women for all I know. But when I see myself in the mirror, I look the same. Although Harry is also speaking little, he looks the same, too, sort of. Maybe hardened, but I can't tell if I look hardened—I feel that way, though.  
I finally looked at you, and I mean looked at you, after all these weeks. You looked saddened. You had your lips parted and looked at me back, and you dropped that stupid book you were reading onto the floor. Harry was asleep upstairs.  
We didn't talk, we didn't need words. We just got up, held hands, and exited the house.  
Outside it was nighttime, and chilly, as November is creeping up on us. We were both in unpractical clothing—T-shirts and pajama bottoms—but we made due. We headed into the woods, sat down, and said nothing.  
Before I knew it we were in a clearing, and we were kissing, and more was going to happen, there was nothing we could do about it. We were about to work at each other's clothing when all of the sudden…it started to pour rain.  
You thrust your head upward, laughing, drinking it in. I thought you were nuts, but before I knew it, we were kissing again, and you were saying, "Not now, later, later…"  
And I knew that you were so right, because this was not a good time. So we just laughed there, in the freezing rain, and ran back to the house, back inside.  
We changed inside, in the same room, but not looking. We laughed about that, too. And then we were done, and your hair was a mess, and I said, "I love you."  
You smiled. "I love you, too."  
And I was going to go my separate way, but you pulled me with you, and whispered, "Here, now, now…"  
And when I woke up and looked in the mirror this morning, there was still nothing different, except…  
Except nothing. It's the inside that's changed.  
And no matter where you go from here, I know one thing—I'll always go with you.  
Yours,  
Ron_

**THE END**


End file.
